Post #20 On Finding Purpose In Life When You’re Chronically Sick

August 15, 2025

As I’m sitting in front of my computer, in my pajamas and with no agenda for the day, I couldn’t help but think that there has to be more in life than this. I sometimes feel like the living dead, albeit trying very hard to make each day count toward my recovery from depression. But, of course, I sometimes fail the day and it counts toward nothing.

I happened to take an online course on Coursera on “Finding Purpose and Meaning In Life: Living for What Matters Most.” While it helped me identify my personal values and showed me studies proving that having a purpose in life is incredibly profound to one’s health, decisions, and resilience, I found it very difficult to think of a purpose in my life. I couldn’t create my life’s purpose statement and left it blank.

When you’re personally suffering from illness, it makes you self-centered because you’re too focused on alleviating your own suffering, feeling better and recovering; hence, it’s challenging to think of others and to think of a purpose that’s greater than yourself. I know because I’ve been managing depression and anxiety for years now, and I just want to heal. I can’t do anything for anyone like this.

I never grew up with religion, so I don’t have a God’s purpose for me. I wasn’t raised with God’s purpose – I always felt I was on my own. I became spiritual later in life, however, but my thoughts don’t go there by default. I constantly need reminder that I was made for a reason, but what?

I discovered through the course that if I continue striving for something greater than my sickness, even if it means focusing solely on my recovery and not my misery, I can write as I do now to let others know that they are not alone. I’ve learned through NAMI support groups that it helps to feel understood and to belong to a group who knows your grief, your sorrow, your anguish. It’s just a hope that anyone will read this. But in my mind, at least I can imagine that my suffering can be turned to meaning one day.

Even if you don’t have a blog or public outlet, share your experience when it’s appropriate: to a stranger, a friend, a family member, a classmate, a colleague. It’s not complaining; it’s sharing and connecting through your pain. It’ll mean something to someone out there. That’s a purpose.