Post #7 The Psychiatrist Who Didn’t Want Me Coming Back

In 2009, I once had a Bad Apple Psychiatrist who had a practice right across the street from where I was working – it meant I didn’t have to take too much time leaving work for my appointments. I was his patient for depression and anxiety for a year and Mr. Bad Apple was mostly meds management, so I remember very little to no psychotherapy in my sessions with him. It was during this period that my depression level plummeted and I had to be hospitalized in 2010. This would be the first time out of three that I would be admitted to the psychiatric ward of a hospital.

If you are hospitalized in a psych unit, you don’t work with your own psychiatrist – you work with a new psychiatrist at the hospital unit itself. There’s exchange of information between the two doctors, but the hospital psychiatrist gets to evaluate and decide if you stay on the same medications or change your existing prescription treatment. When I was ready to be discharged, the hospital psychiatrist contacted Mr. Bad Apple to update him upon my return to the outside.

Guess what? Bad Apple Psychiatrist said he didn’t want me back. He told the hospital psychiatrist that I was a “troubled and non-compliant patient,” and he wanted me to continue outpatient care with another psychiatrist. The hospital psychiatrist talked to Mr. Bad Apple saying it was unethical to do that, and told me about it before discharge so that I was informed. Bad Apple Psychiatrist took me back reluctantly.

It was kind of awkward seeing Mr. Bad Apple after something like that. Strangely, I stayed with him for a couple years thereafter. I don’t know why and looking back I shouldn’t have. I really didn’t have experience with psychiatrists to understand that I could have received much better care and treatment. I stupidly chose convenience above finding psychiatrists who truly had passion and purpose in their craft as mental health doctors.

Luckily, I found that psychiatrist in 2020 and he’s stuck by my side to this day.  A psychiatrist who is truly concerned about your well-being makes all the difference in the world in how your mental illness gets managed. I mention this because you have a choice to divert course if something doesn’t feel right with your current psychiatrist. You don’t have to stick with a Bad Apple.